Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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