So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
