Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
