I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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