I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
