This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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