just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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