I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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