I want to make a zoo with you.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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