at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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