Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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