I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can you bring me the toilet please
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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