i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I look better un-naked...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
