Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I CAN MOONWALK!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
