Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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