i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
