im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
