I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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