how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
