Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
