I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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