I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
