What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
