If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
