i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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