I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
