are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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