So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
