FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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