Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
