I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
