i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
