I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When are your genitals available?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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