Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
