sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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