Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
