im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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