He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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