mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
