he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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