is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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