You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
