I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
