If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
