Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
did i just pee glitter
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
