I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
