you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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