After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
