I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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