he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
