he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
