ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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