I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Pants are for mortals
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