At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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