Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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